again..?

I just came back from kampong. First thing I do after ariving home is checking my facebook account..!! I'm deadly bored at kampong because can't connect to internet for the past 2 days. Internet are my best friend though. I cannot live without it. Heh..rasa macam katak bawah tempurung pula.

My mind is still distracted with something that I've found last week. Something that I've heard actually. Something about my honesty that has being questionable. Sometimes I ask myself, what I've done to them. What are my fault to them, till my honesty has been questionable because of their nonsense story about me..???

Kalau ikutkan hati marah, baik aku buat jahat betul-betul,dah orang tuduh kita macam-macam kan. Namun, itu buat aku terfikir juga. Kalau aku buat macam tu, maknanya aku sama saja macam semua nanti. Why should I'm become like them if I can maintain my reputation before this? One more thing, for how long I want to become a victim and looks like a victim here? I know my mistakes and I dont give a damn to that anymore as I have to continue my life whether I like it or not. As far as I'm concern, I am human and human will do wrong thing in their life whether it is intentionaly or unintentionally. I am also thinking that, if I am keep thinking about these cakap-cakap and something that I don't do it, it make me don't want to do good thing to other people anymore. However, I remember a phrase from La Tahzan, never stop being nice to other people, walaupun kita di caci, diherdik dan di fitnah, sebab Allah Maha Mengetahui dan Allah Maha Adil. HE that will judge me and my action towards other people though.
Lantaklah orang nak tuduh dan sangka aku macam-macam. Bak kata salah seorang kawan aku, selagi aku tak kacau hidup orang,buat apa nak takut. Suka hati dia lah nak kata apa. Dia ada mulut. Buat masa sekarang, aku boleh terima lagi. Mungkin ini juga satu lagi ujian dari Tuhan pada aku. Maklumlah aku ni bukan seorang yang penyabar orangnya. Ikutkan hati marah, nak saja aku pergi 'sembur' depan-depan dan malukan dia balik. Baru lah puas hati kan. Tapi sampai bila..? Dendam aku tak akan ke mana. Entah-entah akan balik pada aku semula. Tak pasal-pasal sakit hati sendiri lagi. Tak ke padan muka aku tu kan.

So, if other people yang baca tu terasa entri ni aku tuju pada mereka, I am so sorry. Nobody knows who you are and nobody knows about this. Cuma aku yang tahu apa yang aku alami, and one more thing, I wrote all these in this blog not to seek sympathy from anyone. I just want all of you know your mistake and not to do that again to other people around you. Fitnah itu lebih dahsyat dari membunuh..!!