Lama aku menyepi....
Aku ada je kat sini..tengah tenangkan fikiran. Sebab otak aku amat serabut dan kucar kacir minggu lepas. Kes tu tak settle lagi, tapi aku dah malas nak ambil 'port'. Sakit otak aku kalau asyik fikirkan kes tu. I've already done my part and I think I should leave the rest to Allah, because HE is the one that will decide what's best for me. For several days, dalam masa mengasingkan diri dan menenangkan fikiran tu, I'd learn something. No matter how hard I'd tried, I'd learn that :-
I cannot own someone, neither his/her life nor his/her heart
I cannot forced someone to love me, neither friends, colleague nor special friends.
I cannot get everything that I'm dream of.
I cannot be successful if only I just sit here mourning about my faith
and I cannot get something that I've already lost anymore..!!!.
I've learn a lot from that misunderstanding. Before this I admit that it is painful, somehow it makes me stronger right now. I've closed my heart to anyone. I want to forget all of that people, because I am the guilty person.
Last time, someone told me that I am a sensitive person. So, its makes me thinking. Betul ke aku ni seorang yang sensitif..? and that someone also ask me to be rational. Mereka kata biarkan aku layan perasaan sorang-sorang..! I am upset and frustrated at first, but I'm keep thinking of what they said. Apa sebab mereka cakap macam tu..? So, I recalled back my attitude and my act towards people around me,dari dulu sampai sekarang. Fikir punya fikir, ingat punya ingat...at the end I'm give up, because it's waste of time. Then, I've said to myself, they acting like that because they are frustrated with me, I'm make them upset. I'm misunderstood them, and they do not look the inner side of me. I am like a surface for them, like others too. So, I asked myself. Why I am become like that..? For real, I am upset too. Why..? because people judge me based on my history. Whatever I've done in the past, are gone and belong to history. Why should people judge me from that history..??? I know it is there, and people can read it and misunderstood it, but can't you see me at the present..?? Do I am being the same person..? People change...So do the world.
Start from there, I look at myself. Thinking again.........
Then, I've realized. Cis...mereka berjaya buat aku layan perasaan sorang-sorang...damn..!
But wait...! I do not blame them. In fact, aku sangat berterima kasih sebab buat aku sedar akan kesilapan aku. It makes me learn about life. It makes me learn that my love and care toward living things and people are not worth as living things and people will die soon. At the end of the day, I will be alone too. In fact, you're alone if you're not open your heart to share your problems. Besides, no matter how many people you trust and love, the facts is you are who you are. No one can satisfied each other. Sebab kita manusia.
Aku ada je kat sini..tengah tenangkan fikiran. Sebab otak aku amat serabut dan kucar kacir minggu lepas. Kes tu tak settle lagi, tapi aku dah malas nak ambil 'port'. Sakit otak aku kalau asyik fikirkan kes tu. I've already done my part and I think I should leave the rest to Allah, because HE is the one that will decide what's best for me. For several days, dalam masa mengasingkan diri dan menenangkan fikiran tu, I'd learn something. No matter how hard I'd tried, I'd learn that :-
I cannot own someone, neither his/her life nor his/her heart
I cannot forced someone to love me, neither friends, colleague nor special friends.
I cannot get everything that I'm dream of.
I cannot be successful if only I just sit here mourning about my faith
and I cannot get something that I've already lost anymore..!!!.
I've learn a lot from that misunderstanding. Before this I admit that it is painful, somehow it makes me stronger right now. I've closed my heart to anyone. I want to forget all of that people, because I am the guilty person.
Last time, someone told me that I am a sensitive person. So, its makes me thinking. Betul ke aku ni seorang yang sensitif..? and that someone also ask me to be rational. Mereka kata biarkan aku layan perasaan sorang-sorang..! I am upset and frustrated at first, but I'm keep thinking of what they said. Apa sebab mereka cakap macam tu..? So, I recalled back my attitude and my act towards people around me,dari dulu sampai sekarang. Fikir punya fikir, ingat punya ingat...at the end I'm give up, because it's waste of time. Then, I've said to myself, they acting like that because they are frustrated with me, I'm make them upset. I'm misunderstood them, and they do not look the inner side of me. I am like a surface for them, like others too. So, I asked myself. Why I am become like that..? For real, I am upset too. Why..? because people judge me based on my history. Whatever I've done in the past, are gone and belong to history. Why should people judge me from that history..??? I know it is there, and people can read it and misunderstood it, but can't you see me at the present..?? Do I am being the same person..? People change...So do the world.
Start from there, I look at myself. Thinking again.........
Then, I've realized. Cis...mereka berjaya buat aku layan perasaan sorang-sorang...damn..!
But wait...! I do not blame them. In fact, aku sangat berterima kasih sebab buat aku sedar akan kesilapan aku. It makes me learn about life. It makes me learn that my love and care toward living things and people are not worth as living things and people will die soon. At the end of the day, I will be alone too. In fact, you're alone if you're not open your heart to share your problems. Besides, no matter how many people you trust and love, the facts is you are who you are. No one can satisfied each other. Sebab kita manusia.
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